After a few days of work, how better to celebrate than blow the hard earned money with a trip to ikea.
Whilst contemplating the most average “STAVE” mirror, I wanted to know how it mounts the wall. Naturally I took it off to look, Within seconds a branded minion was explaining that “Sorry you cannot remove the mirrors from the wall for your own safety” (incidentally there were no signs indicating this rule). This massively annoyed me so instead of completing the re-hanging process I just left her with a mirror teetering jauntily on one screw and myself with the question of why it had annoyed me so much. In short, it was a clean demonstration of one of my pet hates, the extinction of natural selection. Groups across the world attempt to decrease the effect of human growth on other organisms, whilst simultaneously many great individuals and institutions are pouring their time and money into research furthering the capabilities and knowledge of the human race. This most worthy and acclaimed work is being systematically trampled on by the misunderstanding and miss-application of health and safety. The exquisitely simple mechanism identified by Mr Darwin is being inhibited. If someone is stupid enough to poke themselves in the eye with a spatula, they clearly shouldn’t be allowed to pass on their genetic traits. Don’t get me wrong, health and safety laws are a fine thing, I’m most keen that when I buy a new electronic gadget, it wont spontaneously combust and that when I go to work, some old rigging isn’t going to drop a load of truss on my head. However, as a result of bubble wrapping everyone and everything in a fine coating on unnecessary warning signs, the gene pool is being diluted and the human race continues to expand, bulldozing all in its course. In summary, without my tongue in my cheek, people should be expected to mitigate more risks for themselves, that way learning to cope with new and varied dangers. Whilst money and resources can be re-tasked to more relevant or actually hidden risks,
The similarities shared by ikea and Disneyland are astonishing, totally disinterested staff, endless traipsing between places of interest, and infinite number of ways to give away your money (They now do mobile phones!), everything has stupid names and you are encouraged to come as one giant unhappy family, scramming kids and all(see earlier posts).
The only reward for running the ikea gauntlet is the entertainment provided by the loading bay. Having parted with my hard earned cash and moved my car to the loading bay, several seconds of gut splitting entertainment was provided by three blokes trying to fit a vary large sofa into the back of their Audi saloon car, yes SALOON, the ones with he tiny trunk boots. The aperture of the boot must have been about two feet by a generous tape, yet these chaps spent a good five minutes trying with increasing confusion to cram in a three person sofa, an oblivious foot bigger than the boot. They only became aware of their predicament after wondering why I took a picture of them:
I wonder what the maximum time anyone has ever spent in Ikea is, If they opened around the clock, you could just live there – food, shelter, toilets accommodation, employment, telecommunication, education, entertainment and they even sell furniture!
